Tuesday wrote:

QUOTE:
Sunshine,

A couple days ago I posted a few pieces I found about the improved sex life of those who chose to loose. Your living proof. I can understand your resentment and feelings about your husband reaping the benefits of all your hard work. I'm sure I speak for many when I say I wish my marriage had this problem. I could try and explain that believe it or not, your husband has suffered somewhat...I think you should look at it this way. Women who loose weight are always surprised by the attention they get from males after they loose weight. Not just husbands. Single women who loose weight suddenly find themselves with dating and relationship options they didn't have before. Your weight gain changed the dynamics in your marriage and now your weight loss is changing those dynamics again. I hope your husband wasn't so awful before you started losing weight, but if he was you should get it off your chest. Let him know and let it go. What's the alternative? You may wish to remind him that the thinner and healthier you get the more alternatives you will have.

Tuesday,

Despite my weight, our intimacy never came to a hault. And I have never been at a loss for male attention. Some may find that hard to believe or arrogant for me to state, especially as a "fat" woman; however, truth is truth. Fat does not mean ugly or unattractive, in all cases.

Nonetheless, it's hard for me to accept that he suffered and I know it's because his approach regarding my weight issue was completely rotten, and unwarranted. I'm a very reasonable, and diplomatic, woman. Sure, if he had been kind/supportive, I would have felt pain having to discuss my weight with him, but not just for myself, but because I know I would have let him down. However, because of my personality, and because he never showed an ounce of compassion & support, I only view his desire for my shape to change as being motivated by selfishness. It's been rather interesting for me to reflect on his new behavior, but it all comes back to this point: It's always been about his needs.

Believe me, I have shared with him how I feel. All he can say is 'sorry'. At this point, as you can tell, I'm kinda, like, "whatever, great....that's real thoughtful" But, you're right, what is the alternative? Divorce is the only option, but I'm not at that point, or even close. However, I'm certainly not as fearful regarding divorce as I once was. He's a great provider, is a good father, has a very strong work ethic (which I definitely respect!), an evolving spiritual awareness, and has some other redeeming qualities. So, all I guess I can share is, this is a growing process, as this shifting dynamic is relatively new to our marriage. It will take time to heal.

I'm done with my rant, and I feel better