Friendly advice and I hope you take it:

If you have 2k in vet bills 100.00 wont even dent it. Forget the loan. Forget this so-called "friend" and move on. There are also legal issues involved here--> If she has had kids taken by CPS this opens a whole can of worms. In other words...did you see something you didn't report? Could you have prevented anything? Do you even suspect something? If you have a job (i.e. teaching, health work and public service) you need to consider these things because BY LAW you have to report it. If you have seen/suspect/or heard something from the child its YOUR responsibility to report it. Period. END OF STORY.

anc526 wrote:

QUOTE:

She's repeatedly told me that I can "have" her son...

Good Lord. Contact the authorities. Now.
Heres the number:
ou can call Childhelp's National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child. This number is available to report child abuse in any state, and the staff for the hotline can talk you through your phone call. All calls are anonymous.

QUOTE:
There are days I debate taking him. She told me she'd sign him over to me, no questions asks

You have got to be kidding. There is not legal precident that allows someone to sign over a kid like a piece of furniture "no questions asked." I sincerely hope you are kidding. You are NOT a relative you have no legal rights to that child. Contact the authorities.

I'm sorry this boy's story bothers me more and more. Because I believe it is true.

I'm revealing too much, but I was removed from my mother's custody at age 11, for neglect. I remember fending for myself and living in absolute squalor and filth. So this story sounds familiar.

I was not irreversibly damaged by the ordeal, but somethings stay with you for life. For example, I sometimes am overly suspicious of people with honest motives and I can detect deception at .0001% concentration, even when there is none there. Uh huh, paranoia. Survival mechanisms I had to have. blah, nuff of that.

As a father I'm incredibly sensitive to the issue of neglect. Besides the obvious, clean house and food on the table. I will not tolerate my children wearing ANY stained, torn, or remotely ragged clothing. They get new shoes often, whether they need them or not.

I know I drive my wife and kids crazy cleaning faces and combing hair. But, I can't stand the thought of my kids being or looking remotely neglected.

Anyway I think your obligated to do something about this ANC...really honestly I think you need to escalate the issue to the authorities.

sorry if this was too much information...touchy subject here.

Chris,

Thanks so much for sharing. I called the proper authorities in our area. I told them everything that has been going on. The whole situation from start to finish.

I also told him that even though I have no legal right to him, that if they remove him, I wanted to try to get custody.

I had to go fill out a million forms and someone is coming on Monday to do a home check. So who knows what will come from this.

Only time will tell.

You did the right thing. Hopefully it will work out well for the boy.

I have adopted internationally and I’m in the process of trying to adopt domestically. Even if “Jenn” says that she’ll give her son up freely to you, you’ll still most likely need a home study completed which runs about $1,500. In addition, you would have to pay for both her and your attorney fees. However, this is a drop in the bucket compared to the $25,000-35,000 you would have to put out going through an agency.

Also, where is this big fat stinking Yeti’s husband??? He’s just as culpable as she is, maybe even more so. Unfortunately, I believe that it is now your obligation to report Yeti and her husband to CPS for child neglect.

It’s amazing how incredibly hard it is to adopt children through the foster care system—I have been trying this route for six months. Yet, people like this can continue popping them out and neglect them with little consequence. I feel terrible for this little boy. Believe me, you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg as far as what goes on behind closed doors. Report them.

Sally wrote:

QUOTE:
I have adopted internationally and I’m in the process of trying to adopt domestically. Even if “Jenn” says that she’ll give her son up freely to you, you’ll still most likely need a home study completed which runs about $1,500. In addition, you would have to pay for both her and your attorney fees. However, this is a drop in the bucket compared to the $25,000-35,000 you would have to put out going through an agency.

Also, where is this big fat stinking Yeti’s husband??? He’s just as culpable as she is, maybe even more so. Unfortunately, I believe that it is now your obligation to report Yeti and her husband to CPS for child neglect.

It’s amazing how incredibly hard it is to adopt children through the foster care system—I have been trying this route for six months. Yet, people like this can continue popping them out and neglect them with little consequence. I feel terrible for this little boy. Believe me, you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg as far as what goes on behind closed doors. Report them.

I think it's hilarious you call her a yeti. Thats what my husband calls her. Mostly because she doesn't shave her legs, ever. Lol. Her husband is just as irresponsible as she is.

He does less for the kids than she does. I called CPS and filed a report. I also talked to them about custody. They are checking out my home on Monday. I don't know if it is a formal home check or just a brief "get to know you" chat. I'm a little nervous but we have a lovely home that is very well kept.

However I do have a ridiculously hyper basset hound. Hopefully they like dogs. Because he loves people, and jumping on people!

Are Mr. and Mrs. Yeti sane people? What will happen when/ if they find out you are watching their child? It's a risky move being the ones to report neglect to the authorities, then to coincidentally be awarded temp custody of their child.
I totally agree with the reporting issue, it just may be a poor time to be trying to grab junior. Do you have a story to give her if she finds out? Her son will tell her he is staying with you, and she will have supervised visits if they remove child from home....

Poolboy wrote:

QUOTE:
Are Mr. and Mrs. Yeti sane people? What will happen when/ if they find out you are watching their child? It's a risky move being the ones to report neglect to the authorities, then to coincidentally be awarded temp custody of their child. :ohmy:
I totally agree with the reporting issue, it just may be a poor time to be trying to grab junior. Do you have a story to give her if she finds out? Her son will tell her he is staying with you, and she will have supervised visits if they remove child from home....

Regardless of whether or not I'm adopting the son. She will know I reported her. I'm the only one ever in her house long enough to see what goes on.

I figured I'd try to get the son now before he has to go through the hell of foster homes.

And to be truthful. I'd doubt she would even show for visitation. She has to older children 7 and 9. I've never met them, they were taken from her years ago before her two youngest children where born. She got a paper in the mail one day about going to court to get custody back. She threw it out. She said she doesn't want to go through the hassle. She hasn't seen them in like 4 years.

It's an unfortunate situation. Sadly her two remaining children will have to be split up. I can't take both. But I spoke on the phone with her sister-in-law. She is going to try to get custody of her daughter. That way they can at least see each other.

It's a heart breaking situation. But at least they won't be raised in foster care. They will have people who love them raising them. Surprisingly my husband is 100% on board with the idea. He really loves her son too. He's taken him fishing a bunch of times.

We've been like his parents for the last few months, any time she doesn't want to watch him, she leaves him with us.

Sounds great. Hope you all keep safe.