I have a friend. Lets call her "Jenn". We have only been friends since January but we bonded pretty quick.

She is o-b-e-s-e and lazy and just sits around the house selling stuff on ebay. I'm not knocking anyone who does that. But she will spend $100 buying stuff to resell, and lose her money. I never really saw the point, but I digress..

Back in February I loaned her $100. I didn't even know her that well, but she said she had shut off notices.

Her husband has a nice job at a huge company but she claims she can't work.

She says it hurts to much to stand. Now understand when I say this, she weighs more than a scale will hold. I'd venture to guess 400+ lbs.

She has 2 kids, all she does is sit on the computer. She loves her daughter, but tells her son that he's gay, she hates him, and that she didn't want a boy, she wanted all girls. She already has 2 girls that had been taken from her by CPS.

What I ever saw in her, I'll never understand. But I think it was just that I felt sorry for her son. For his birthday, I paid for him to go to the zoo, I bought him tons of gifts and threw him a party. She picked him up one thing from the dollar store claiming she didn't have the money. But the next day I was there, when stuff she ordered for her daughter came in. Her daughter is 2 years old and has more designer clothes than I do. It's not hard to see where the money is going.

So anyway, I'm so disgusted with her that I don't even want to be friends with her anymore. I tell her I would like my $100 back. I have over $2000 in vet bills to pay right now due to a very very ill kitty cat. My husband and I have money, but we aren't the Trumps for god sakes.

She makes up every excuse in the book, she needs diapers. Now, her kids are 3 and 4. I think they should be moving beyond diapers, but she doesn't bother potty training them, because that would mean she'd have to get her fat ass up out of her chair.

She says she has shut off notices and everything. Now this has become a common thing. Every time I mention paying me back, she has shut off notices. But last month when I went to the casino she had money to go...

Am I a bad person for asking her to pay me back? If I honestly thought she had shut off notices it would be different. But I think she's flat out lying. She just went to the casino (she's addicted) like 2 days ago.

I don't know what to do. Should I just forget about the $100 and never speak to her again?

I feel like I'm stuck. I'd just forget about the $100, but my husband HATES her and is demanding I get it back.

Any opinions?

I think it's right you get your money back, especially a sum like that! She sounds like a cruel woman, 400+lbs or no, and to assume your FOUR YEAR OLD SON is gay and to then berate him is so effin' disgusting. She should love her children, gay or no. His being gay won't make him into a bad person, but her ill-treatment and poor parenting certainly will!

You should speak to her husband, explain the situation (including her habitual lying, poor spending habits, and addiction to gambling and food), and firmly but cordially ask for your money. I wouldn't go through all the trouble of small claims court, but if her husband won't get the money back for you....then it's really hopeless. Cut ALL ties with this woman after you get your money/decide its not worth, and don't bother with her. She is bad news.

We just got into a huge battle. She told me that I was never her friend. Which really hurt my feelings.

Back in April she had CPS called on her because her house was disgustingly messy. We assume it was her mother in law who did it.

And me (obviously a horrible friend) went over her house at 9pm (after driving back from NC to PA from a trip) and stayed until 4am, scrubbing and cleaning with her.

I mean I'm fat, but she just really really disgusts me. At least I clean my house. There were piles of chips and juice in the corner by a high chair, stuff was stuck to the ground. It was horrible.

She's repeatedly told me that I can "have" her son. And I love him to death. There are days I debate taking him. She told me she'd sign him over to me, no questions asks. The poor boy calls me Mommy.

But she says I'm a bad friend. All because I very politely asked for $100 back.

And it wasn't for no reason. It was so it was another $100 I didn't have to put out on my cat. He has well over $2000 in vet bills and he's still sick.

I'm sure some will say I'm crazy for spending that much on a cat, but that is my baby. I rescued him about 2 years ago. Someone ditched him in a box out in the snow. He was only 8 weeks old. My husband and I are waiting until I lose the weight to have children, so this is my baby. Along with my basset hound and other kitten (also a rescue).

She told me that I could take her sons birthday gifts back as payment for what she owes me. I couldn't believe that. I told her no way will I take his gifts away. Although I know she will end up selling them to buy her daughter more stuff.

Its just sad. At this point I don't even give a damn about the money. I just feel horrible for her son and that situation he's in.

A loan to a friend should always be considered a gift (in other words, you never really get it back).

Take the little boy and run...far

I would try to get the money back, but it is gone.

Make sure to never loan her a dime again.

With her history with CPS, I would worry about that boy ALOT!

Surely the father notices something?

anc526 wrote:

QUOTE:

She told me that I could take her sons birthday gifts back as payment for what she owes me. I couldn't believe that.

See, that's not how it works. You'd be taking your own money back - not the money SHE owes you. What an idiot.

She's one of those people who never should have bred. :/

I was thinking about this because that little boy worries me.


You know, if the CPS ends up taking him (very likely) then it will be much harder for you to get any rights to him. And he'll have to go through the issues of being in the foster care system.


If you can't take him, you might be looking around for someone else who can...especially if the Mom is really willing to give up her rights to him.

The father is as big of a jerk as she is. He weighs about as much as her. And his idea of a home cooked meal is a box of mac n' cheese.

I don't know the logistics of getting custody of her son. I'm in no way blood related to him.

Her mother-in-law wants to take him in, but she is just as bad as the mother. I worry about him every day and truthfully its the only reason I've stayed friends with her this long.

He is always over here at my house. The people we bought the place from had kids, and they have a huge built in sandbox in the back yard. So when it's nice out I bring him over and he plays in the sandbox and with my dog.

For people as fat as they are, they sure don't feed their kids much. The only thing he'll eat is hot dogs. I finally got him to eat a turkey sandwich the other day. You would think he hasn't been fed in a year. He pretty much inhaled it.

If I knew I could possibly get custody I would. I'm not sure if I'm 100% ready for kids yet. I'm only 24, but the poor little guy needs to get out of that house.

I've adopted kids, but all out of country so I don't know the U.S. process. I imagine you could find an attorney or adoption agency to just ask a few questions of...just in case you decide to go ahead. At least you would know what you'd have to do. Or talk to a social worker about having a "homestudy" done. That is basically a report on your home so that you can get custody quickly if he ends up the foster care system. It is the first step foster or adoptive parents have to go through...minor hassle. I'm just saying... if you are ready then it will go easier if things get worse.

anc526 wrote:

QUOTE:


She's repeatedly told me that I can "have" her son. And I love him to death. There are days I debate taking him. She told me she'd sign him over to me, no questions asks. The poor boy calls me Mommy.

That's sad. What an awful person to have for a mother. I feel sorry for both kids. If they don't get taken away, they're both going to have some serious issues. The daughter is going to be ruined by being spoiled rotten and being the favorite, and the son by being the reject. I wonder how the father treats these kids.