"I hate feeling like it's my DUTY to have sex. Hell, you can have sex with anyone. But that connection that was once there is gone"

I like this point. I have never understood those who say having sex with your partner is a 'duty'.

Sex in a marriage is supposed to be a fun, intimate experiance between the two of you, not 'something i got to do for him coz we married now, oh well what can i do?'.

Its such a stupid idea.

I actually think this is why some people let themselves go.

I've read it many times of message boards where overweight people say 'its their duty as my partner to have sex with me', and its no wonder they let themselves go if they see sex as a duty.

It seems they feel they don't have to look after themselves because their partner has a duty, they have to do it no matter what so HA checkmate......of course they forget that it takes 2 to have sex, and they are actually meant to be giving pleasure to the other person too.

How can you have pleasure doing something that is supposed to be enjoyable when a person has let themselves go and it is now just 'a duty'.

I've written 'its called taking someone for granted' a million times in my last posts, there is 100% no other way to describe this behaviour, and then to hear them justifying it and blaming everyone else but themselves is completley insane.

brothercrash wrote:

QUOTE:
Sounds like you aren't doing a fantasy, and that you are cheating/cheated on your husband with a total stranger.

How I love STD's let me count the ways...

1) Is for Hep-C which doesn't show up for years even with a proper blood test. It silently destroys your liver so you die a painful death.

2) Is for HPV which silently scars women into cervical cancer risk.

3) Is for HIV which isn't detected for years in most cases and you never know which mutagenic version you have until it's well developed

4) Is for bacteria vaginosis, one of the most common infections next to chlamydia (No it's not a soup, that's clam chowder)

5) Is for giving an STD to a fat spouse who doesn't deserve to get it. Nobody has the right to hurt someone else like that.

By the way, condoms don't prevent the spread of these diseases 100%. Read up on a condoms effectiveness. They certainly help, but if I told you I had AIDS and HEP-C, but you could have sex with my smoking hot body if I wore a condom, you'd just laugh, because it isn't worth the 1 in 10 chance that you might catch something.

I could go on and on... but I won't. And by the way, I don't have any diseases, I just used it as an illustrative point.

My point is that if you want to cheat, don't. Be a real adult, get a job you can support yourself alone with and get out. This goes for ALL adults, not just women.

I DO understand however that you've kept yourself up and you want to get boinked by someone who is hot and sexy and appealing. I don't blame you. But I recommend leaving the relationship and halting any further sexual contact with the hubby. Just be done with it as soon as possible.

Why be trapped in a loveless marriage? Can you not support yourself? Or is it just more comfortable to ditch ideals and marital vows in place of mooching off a spouse for financial security?

Careful everyone out there... Karma is a bitch.

Peace, Crash

My thoughts exactly!

I thought I was the only person who used the word "boinked"!

Welcome to the club!

T.

JohnsFriend wrote:

QUOTE:
Hey everybody,

I'm still looking forward with excitement about hearing what everyone on this site does for a living. It was an eye-opener (Brothercrash mentioned about people being "super educated") to find such educated people all gathered on one site. Please tell us what you do!!

Love and blessings,

Stef

Count me among the educated, though not as much as some of you here. I'm a computer consultant, with a bachelor's in information systems, currently working on my MBA.

My fat spouse is a high school dropout with a GED. If I do find myself single after this, I'm going to be a lot pickier about who I get involved with from now on. Educated women are much more desirable to me.

I'm an IT Manager at a manufacturing plant in upstate NY. I only have an AS degree but I have a lot of experience.

Ok, I was a nurse before I had my girls, stayed home with them until they left for university etc, now I am working with my SO in the service industry.
I have no high formal education, but I am interested in lots of things and love to read, so I consider myself fairly intelligent.

I have a bachelors in geology and am currently taking a masters in education. I want to teach earth science.

I'm also trying to get all my certifications so that I can be a scuba instructor over the summer vacations.