butterfly wrote:
Sure FAT not OBESE.
A bit on the chubby side, absolutely women can get male attention.
But in most cases here, we aren't talking about 15-25lbs, we're talking about 50-100lbs. Big difference![/quote]




Butterfly,

I disagree. I'm 5' 3", and at my heaviest (non-pregnant), I weighed 226 That is 86 pounds above what I should weigh to be considered "normal" - a very "big" difference compared to "a bit on the chubby side". But as I previously mentioned, I have never been without male attention, and plenty of it. And the men who pay me the most attention are generally very handsome, well-built, educated, professionals - who usually have "fit" girlfriends or are married to women who are much more physically than me. And I also know other "fat" women who can share similiar experiences.

Now, I know there are many variables to why men find me attractive, even when I was at my fattest. But more importantly, I understand that it's a lie how women are socialized to believe that a man having a "slim" woman on his arm, is priority. From my experience and some other fat women I know, that just does not seem to be the case.

To prove my point further, I have found it interesting that, especially in a professional setting, on occassion, when I've happened to meet certain (fit) spouses of co-workers of mine (handsome or not), the spouse clearly is on the defense - despite my fat. This is also happens to me, on a regular basis, in other various social-settings. So, it has proved to me time and time again this truth: You don't need to be "fit" to have male attention, have a mate, and/or enjoy a long-term relationship. And being "fit" does not guarantee a man will want to be with a woman forever. These are lies women are socialized to believe.

On a side note, I believe obtaining a high quality of life via nutrition and exercise, is of the upmost importance. After struggling with poor health and going through the process of slowing regaining better health, I couldn't stress any more the importance of living a healthy lifestyle.

markerbull wrote:
These large women can get the attention of other men because those men have that kind of preference.



Markerbull,

In some cases, I would agree; however, not in all.

Markerbull...

BTW...

I know what a markerbull is! lol!

I'm from Indiana.

Would you please explain to the audience what your name is all about?

Sunshine08 wrote:

QUOTE:
markerbull wrote:
These large women can get the attention of other men because those men have that kind of preference.

Markerbull,

In some cases, I would agree; however, not in all.

Huh?
If not their preference for obese women then what is the attraction?
I also disagree but with you, Sunshine.
Which I assume is OK since I'm speaking from MY experiences.
That being I've been skinny until 27, fat until 41 and back to within 20lbs of a good weight for me now at 42 and men are definitely more responsive to a thin me.
At least the type of men that I'm also attracted to.

There is a phenomenon of men who go out looking for sex thinking fat women are an easy mark. They think they are disparate and easy.

Imo Shoom is spot on, as harsh as it is. For many men an obese woman may do as a supposedly easily conquered one-nighter, but not a partner in a relationship.

An other thing is that some women confuse common courtesy and social interaction with 'male attention'. Many men are very good at sensing when a woman is desperate for compliments and positive feed-back about her appearance, and will respond in order to be socially pleasant.

I'll speak from my actions and the reason for them.

One way to put it is that I give more attention to fat and/or unattractive women but, really it's just because there's no intimidation and no attraction. I'm more courteous and smiley toward women, whether right or wrong, that's just how it is. It's also my observation and own interpretation (meaning, I don't know if this is how it really is; I recognize it is very likely just my perception) that fat women, good looking or not, are less reserved with their body language or facial expressions when they are attracted to a guy. My explanation to that is due to a fat woman is eager for male attention where a fit women does or is able to take it for granted.

This is just my take. My understanding of men, myself, and my experiences tell me that most men have attraction as one of their top emotional needs. There's some men where it is not, just like there are many women where it is. There is also the dynamic of desperation or as Shoom and Mary pointed out, looking for an easy lay.

butterfly wrote:
[quote]Sunshine08 wrote:

QUOTE:

In some cases, I would agree; however, not in all.

Huh?
If not their preference for obese women then what is the attraction?




Butterfly,
You know your implication suggests that fat women, because they're overweight, have no other redeeming qualities, other than to be a piece of 'meat' for any man who doesn't have a "preference" for their body type. A classic 'Freudian slip', I must say.

Anyway....
The mere suggestion that fat women have nothing else to offer as human beings just because of they're fat is, once again, a gross misconception - and rather stereotypical. But, if this is true, according to your theory Butterfly, even "fit" male/female relationships can be reduced to nothing more than the physical, and "fit" women are only sought after - and used - for their body-type. Which, when held up to the dysfunction of our current culture, could be debated; however, because the shoe is on the other foot, I'm sure you'll quickly disagree. Because you seem to buy into the (sexist) socialization that all fat people are "bad" and all fit people are "good"..

Naturally, I can't speak for the experiences you've had. I just know that I've never had issues with attracting men - men that I, too, find attractive. And because I have a healthy self-confidence, and also think the average man can't be trusted (because even a majority of men with very attractive spouses/girlfriends appear to lack self-discipline regarding their personal conduct around other women) I simply can't relate to desperate fat - or fit - women who feel the need to be with just any man that pays them attention. In this respect, and compared to most women, I do find my stance unique.

Chris wrote:

QUOTE:
Markerbull...

BTW...

I know what a markerbull is! lol!

I'm from Indiana.

Would you please explain to the audience what your name is all about?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

He he he! I never thought there would be anyone out there that would know this. I got the name from my former Army commander who happened to be a veterinarian before entering the service. Here is how I got my name and what it means......

I was in the field talking with my commander and telling him my experience in the Army. After telling him the factual horror stories, he looked at me in disbelief and humor and said I was a “Markerbull”. After he was done laughing he explained what the term meant. In the cattle business spotting a cow in heat is very difficult and since you only want the best offspring you try to artificially inseminate the cow with the highest quality bull semen. The problems are, the stuff is outlandishly expensive and if not timed right it is a waste so the cattlemen came up with a solution. They take an inferior bull and knock it out and make a slit along its body so that they can pull the penis through the slit and have it aim at an odd angle. It makes sex impossible for the bull. They then place a large collar soaked in water soluble paint on the bull’s neck so that when it futilely mounts the cow in heat it will rub the paint on the cow. The cow gets bored and leaves the frustrated bull and the cattlemen spot the paint markings on the cow. They quickly give the cow the “silver bullet” and she gets pregnant. Eventually the markerbull goes insane from the frustration and the f-up scenario that I think they have to kill after years of torment. I thought the term was perfect for how it was for me in the Army that I adopted it as my callsign.

Mary45 wrote:

QUOTE:
Imo Shoom is spot on, as harsh as it is. For many men an obese woman may do as a supposedly easily conquered one-nighter, but not a partner in a relationship.

An other thing is that some women confuse common courtesy and social interaction with 'male attention'. Many men are very good at sensing when a woman is desperate for compliments and positive feed-back about her appearance, and will respond in order to be socially pleasant.

That kind of reminds me of the movie "Shallow Hall" when he showed attention to the unattractive women. They seemed very starved for the attention because in most instances men don't pay much attention to women they find unattractive.

Here is a link to a video made by a woman in the UK. She dressed plain and then sexy to compare how people would treat her.
http://www.glumbert.com/media/sexygirlsfree

It is work friendly because she is showing how she can get things for free if she looks sexy.