I've never posted anything before, so hope I'm doing this properly.

I am the fat wife (I hate saying that). I have a wonderful husband, great kids and a nice job. Not sure how I allowed myself to get into this shape. I have always wondered if my husband was disappointed in my appearance although he always tells me he's not. I believed he was just trying to spare my feelings and have always appreciated that he has always been so accepting of my weight. After reading through your site, however, I began to wonder if he just hasn't given up on the idea that I could look again like I did when we met. I think perhaps all of you fit spouses are saying here what my hubby is thinking but too sweet (or scared/timid) to tell me. So, THANK YOU for the kick in the a** I needed to wake up and remember that I have an obligation to my husband to stay fit. I've been lurking around for a couple weeks or so reading what you've all written, and here's one practical way it's helped me: When I want to eat something unhealthy, I now picture my husband watching me and wishing for the attractive wife he used to have.

Welcome Shelly!

It's great you care enough about your marriage to want to consider this aspect and the affects it may be having on the both of you.

If you are looking for possitive change in beliefs or actions, we'd be happy to be the support you need.

ShellyB, how is it going. Have you started losing weight?

Hi Shelly B!

That's another thing that I love about this site is when people such as yourself come here and are able to see our side of things without getting too defensive. I think that is extremely admirable and to be applauded There are other members on here that are actively pursuing their journeys to good health with great success so you will find lots of support on here.

Hi there, and a warm welcome!

The way I see it, we are not about to 'shame' anyone into losing weight nor do we regard people with weight-issues as less worthy in any way whatsoever. It's very, very easy to become obese in today's world with all mod-cons and food temptations around us...

I think that you first and foremost have an obligation to yourself to try and stay fit and to lose weight if you are carrying 'excess baggage'. It's not easy and it can be a bore and a pain in the backside, but the rewards are plentiful and certainly make it worthwile in the end. I can't even begin to describe the difference it makes when you are older if you are semi-disabled, in constant pain and mostly confined to sitting indoors - or still fit, in good health and physically active.