I am so happy to have found this site. I was in denial myself for years. I loved my husband so much that I believed all of his promises and excuses. I became very defensive when people would make comments to me about his weight. Through the years (and there have been many) he gained more and more weight until he was well over 300 lbs. He is only 5'8".

Obese men take notice: the penis does shrink significantly and erections become difficult to achieve and maintain. As my husband gained more weight the sex became less satisfactory for me. I lost interest and a chronic depression set in. I asked him to lose weight to save our sex life but he got a penile implant instead. Now we will never know if losing weight would have made a difference in our sex life. I don't like the implant. And his fat is still in the way. And the 2 times we had sex since the implant weren't any better than before the implant and I am angry that he chose surgery before giving weight-loss a try.

Over a year ago he had a double total knee replacement and he is only 58. At first no surgeon would touch him because of his weight. He finally lost 50 lbs and found a surgeon to do the operation. It is taking forever for him to recover. We still can't walk on the beach together or take bike rides. And I have refused to have sex until he loses a significant amount of weight. I can't say I am totally repulsed but the sex is awful.

Divorce is out of the question because aside from the weight issue we get along pretty well, and he is a good person and father. We have 11 year old twins who would be devastated. I brought them into the world under these circumstances and I am not about to make them suffer the consequences of a failed marriage.

He is still trying to lose weight but won't give up the junk food. I have given up and started focusing in my own needs. I have recovered from my chronic depression with the help of paxil. My career has taken off and I have some interesting people in my life. But I miss sex. Even more now that I am healthier. I have always been thin and fit. I look great, I feel great and I have no one to share that with.

Is it really that wrong to seek a partner for sex? It just doesn't seem fair.